My beautiful youngest son, Luca, was diagnosed with Autism (or ASD) when he was 2. He’s fab. Crazy gorgeous and fab – but Autistic. When he was going through the diagnostic process, I was determined to learn as much about Autism as I could. The consultant paediatrician was quite impressed when I let it be known that I had been reading the DSM IV and that I was aware of the “triad of impairments” that present in those with Autism. So what is this DSM IV you might be wondering? Well it’s a book. It’s formal title is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (IV edition). It’s created by the American Psychiatric Association updated every so often and is currently under review for the new edition – yep DSM V. Anyway if you’re interested Autism is generally characterised by the “triad of impairments”:
- Difficulty in communication
- Difficulty in social interaction
- Difficulty in social understanding
Other traits that go along with autism are sensory problems and my personal bugbear – lack of empathy… Let’s not talk about that one as it really boils my blood. Anyway living with Autism in my family has really given me so much insight into human beings and so much to rail against in how we categorise “different”. There is a bit of a hoo hah in the ASD community at the moment because in the new DSM V which is due to be published in the Summer, Asperger’s will cease to be a diagnosis – it will just fall under Autistic Spectrum Disorder. However shyness is being added! Yes, incredibly shy people now have a mental health disorder according to the great and the good of the American Psychiatric Association!
Anyway this long preamble is my way of saying how about adding Tory to the DSM? It probably won’t make the 5th edition, which as I’ve said is currently being edited – but maybe the 6th? Think about it – I know it sounds outlandish (possibly) but let’s consider the diagnostic criteria for Autism – the triad of impairments and other associated traits. I would argue that being a Tory has a number of traits that are completely ALIEN to me and many other people on the political LEFT – and in fact I would classify them as impairments. Impairments to being a good human being. The triad of impairments that present in the Tory patient are as follows:-
- Complete lack of empathy (with a tendency to blame a “victim” for their circumstances; or the welfare state)
- An absolute hatred of “other” (be that sexuality, social class, nationality or religion)
- An overzealous attraction to money
Associated traits for the Tory disorder include an insistence on “traditional values” and a belief that the private sector and profit is the solution to all of Britain’s problems. I also notice that they rigidly adhere to these beliefs in the face of ALL evidence to the contrary, so for example although EVERYONE (including many Tories in the commuter belts of the SE) agree that the privatised railways are a shambles and the privatised utilities are a joke the prescribed Tory antidote for any other problems in Britain generally involve privatisation. A further two traits which are so prominent within their MPs that I think *they* might categorising as a whole subclass of Tory are:-
- Reliance on lies, propaganda and disinformation to gain popularity
- An over-reliance of this key phrase “The mess left by Labour” (or variants such as “the mess left by the previous government”)
If you stop and think about it, my case makes perfect sense – and I shall be presenting my findings to the APA in the very near future, in the meantime and in the absence of appropriate treatment, please treat the Tories among you with kindness – they can’t help acting the way they do – it’s a developmental disorder. Light up the world RED for a cure – hopefully it will come along in the near future – a form of Marx based ABA therapy is showing promising results.
And remember the Twitter campaign #Tory4DSM6. Let’s get these people the help they need. They are human after all (I think).
I run a film production company in Gatesheed, UK. I have two boys and one American husband. I love NUFC, the Red Sox and Pats. I rant A LOT.
ZeesRants 
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